i’ve spent most of the last 2 days wondering if my mum and dad are disappointed in me, based on where i am in my life right now (where i feel i’ve been stuck for the at least the last couple of years, to be honest). i’m addressing this thought because it has been around for a lot longer – its just the last 2 days that i’ve put it into those words.
i’m no longer working full time, i’m going to the gym and working out on my own quite a lot, i’m doing the college course which is the only thing really keeping me happy in a way….i have nothing else really going on. thats not really by choice – i’m single and have learnt to live with that, but i am lonely and i do still find myself thinking that there must be something wrong with me that keeps people away, that turns women off on me. i work out a lot, and am working like a trojan to lose weight and get in good shape but i do have a metabolism that makes losing weight or keeping weight off a real battle. i’m not a beached whale by any stretch of the imagination, but i’ve not got the rippling 6 pack that seems so popular with the females. i think maybe i’m trying to live up to near impossible standards.