what do i want to say…

feel a bit pre-occupied today….felt the same yesterday to be honest. i don’t know why, i just do. i don’t really feel like i have many reasons to keep going, keeping up this impression – thats all this is, me doing an impression of someone who doesn’t feel too strongly about anything.
so much emphasis seems to be put on not appearing miserable in front of other people. but why? its not like anyone else really cares – they just don’t want the way you’ve found yourself feeling to impact on them or their day. people ask you if somethings up, but really nobody gives a shit. everyone is out for themselves…so why should i continue to be a nice guy….why shouldn’t i start looking out for number one. if its good enough for everyone else, then it’s good enough for me.
why should i remain dependable, to benefit people who themselves don’t extend me the same courtesy?

i am sick to the back teeth of being a doormat – sick of people thinking they can just walk all over me.

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